Mama said there'd be days like this...

I am the type of person who loves to be at home and not feel like I am running like crazy every second of every day.  Goodness knows that with 3 kids under four I'm not sitting around eating bon-bons, but I like being able to catch up on laundry, actually put kids down for naps on time, read a book to Jocelyn during quiet time, maybe even vacuum the floor or start dinner at a decent hour or something along those lines.  It is for this reason I like to fit all my crazy errands into one day and wear myself and the kids out if it means one  more day that week that I can just be at home.

Well, on one of my crazy errand-running days (during which Lilly always asks in confusion "I thought we were going to Aaron's house?  Because errand sounds like Aaron even though she doesn't know any Aarons) we were attempting to stop at Michael's and use a coupon, return an item at another store, stop at Costco and Walmart on our way home.  Not too much to ask, right?  I had my lists made and my plans laid and we were off.

It was one of those days where the Michael's coupon was expired even though I swear I checked it before loading all kids out of car seats, into the cart and through the store, Costco was out of the frozen berries I always like to buy and Lilly told me two different times inside of Walmart that she needed to go to the bathroom.  Both times I raced like a maniac to the back of the store only to have her refuse to go because it's not a decent looking or smelling toilet.  She tries but "doesn't need to go anymore!"  with a lot of irritation in her voice.  Jonas is, of course, screaming and starving at this point because the lines in that particular Walmart have a wait time of approximately 15 minutes on a good day.  And, Jocelyn is positive she needs a cheeseburger since she sees the McDonald's attached to the Walmart and the distant smell of a happy meal is wafting toward us.


I decide it's time for us to re-group before our last stop so we all pile in the car and I hand the girls the snacks in the back of the car while I'm trying to nurse Jonas in the driver's seat.  He's so upset that he barely starts to nurse when Lilly tells me "I need to go to the bathroom!" with desperation in her voice.  I turn around to tell her "I already took you twice, remember?" when I see on her face that she clearly means business.  In one swift motion I whip one of Jonas's diapers out of my bag, pull down her panties and barely catch her poop in the diaper while still trying to feed the baby and keep him from going into hysterics again.  Jocelyn's telling me "EEWW" it stinks in here!! while I'm thinking: "What has my life come to??"

Crazy, right?  I mean, I've had all of these things happen individually on occasion but they were all rolled up in a nice three hour block and I had to laugh.  I get the comment from people in public all the time, you know the "Wow! You've got your hands full" remark where they don't think they are full-on insulting you, but you can just feel they are judging you thinking you are nuts.  I always respond "yes, but in a good way"  because I even get these comments when I think my kids are being relatively well-behaved.

 However...I wouldn't trade it for the world.  I love taking care of my husband and children and I'm so grateful that I am not in the work force right now so I can dedicate all my energy and time to raising these beautiful kids.  My church sends out a monthly publication, the Ensign, and I was reading an article in there this week by Bruce D. Porter called "Defending the family in a troubled world."   These couple paragraphs really spoke to me at this point in my life and echo exactly how I feel...

"Successful families require that men and women make substantial and long-term sacrifices of their time, money, and personal fulfillment in order to dedicate their efforts to rearing the next generation.  Selfishness in any form or degree weakens the bonds that hold families together.  The rise of selfishness in our society is the fundamental underlying trend that undermines families and makes successful marriages so difficult.  Many today find it irrational to devote so much time and energy to the welfare of the next generation, but if this commitment is not deeply rooted in society, civilization will decline and perish, while children grow up in a moral wasteland, confused, unguided, and unloved.

Moreover, the sacrifices that fathers and mothers make for their children ultimately will result in the greatest possible happiness for those making the sacrifices.  In all of human experience, there are no joys more tender, no love more sweet, no fulfillment higher than that found in the family. Those who honor the calling of righteous parenthood will find their souls refined, their hearts purified, and their minds enlightened by the most important lessons of life.  They will rise to far greater heights of happiness than those who engage in the narrow and ultimately unsatisfying pursuit of self."

So there you have it...Why I do what I do.  I am hoping for the "greater happiness" that comes from these sacrifices.  No, really though, I agree that "there are no joys more tender, no love more sweet, no fulfillment higher than that found in the family" and I'm so glad that we are working toward being together throughout eternity.